There should be a pill for procrastination. I have zero self control with distractions. A wall is a distraction if work is to be done. No motivation. It wasn’t like this. I remember when I was fresh from Pakistan, I use to spend so many hours studying rigorously, ahead of time. It just gets worse and worse.
how many of you guys can read urdu in the persian/arabic script?
its 8 and i havent done shit ahhaahaha ;((((
Wanting to avoid the association of feminism with moralism has to do with how liberal feminism’s analytical approach strives to validate the preferences of the individual, which means avoiding making any judgements/criticisms, even if said criticism is based in wanting to deter others from harmful patriarchal notions or practices. The only way this logically works (validating all individual preferences as relevant to feminism) is through moral relativism (moral distinctions are made on a subjective basis relative to each and every individual) or amoralism (there is no point to ever making any sort of moral distinctions).
In formulating a form of feminism where right and wrong is not determined on how much an act or belief reinforces female subordination/oppression and male domination/privilege, but on how good those beliefs or acts feel to an individual you end up with individuals referring to themselves as feminists while promoting and justifying the sexualizing of male violence against women and girls, defending rape myths (both in and out of pornography) and consequently rape culture, advocating for the ‘rights’ of pornographers, pimps, punters/johns and traffickers, etc. You end up with a form of feminism that can mean anything to everyone and anyone - no matter how violent, sadistic and misogynistic that person is - and thus, [that] feminism means absolutely nothing at all in relation to actual, holistic female liberation. There’s no collective goal of liberation or focus on collapsing a system of male dominance and female submission.
The subjectivism and moral relativism/amoralism that marks liberalism and conjunctly, liberal feminism makes whether or not liberal feminism is a feminist movement at all highly questionable. Commonly held attitudes in the liberal feminist camp echoes the views of misogynists at sometimes the masculinist/MRA point of extremity. The willingness to defend misogynistic men with the incessant, battering ram of ‘kink shamer!’ and constantly reminding those goddamn shamers that men who ideate over the rape, abuse and even murder of women and girls have a ‘right’ to freedom of [self]-expression, as a counter to feminists who prioritize women’s rights to not be raped, abused and murdered by men has become a definite signifier of how liberal feminism (which I’ve ‘fondly’ come to know as fauxminism), which is perceived to be ‘mainstream’ feminism (the most widely understood and accepted interpretation of the women’s movement), has been sidetracked.
There are multiple feminist movements, but liberal feminism is the end product of what becomes of feminism when male sexuality is prioritized over female safety, when male presence in an initially gynocentric movement is encouraged on the basis of ‘inclusivity’, when any mention of sexual and physical violence against women by men as a moral issue is discouraged for fear of being associated with far-right conservatism and when individualism and subjectivity are put on such a high ideological pedestal that choice politics is used as a counter for every existing anti-conformity stance that emphasizes that the personal is political because everyone is personally being molded by a system of structural inequality.”
Anonymous asked: I heard the word bi*ch can be used for a women who is independent and won't take no for an answer and will love herself first. Thoughts?
Well, I’m not well read on this topic so, I have some cursory thoughts. I can understand the oppressed group wanting to reclaim the slurs used against them.
But in this case, bitch is not a word of a neutral origin. It is not a word women would have voluntarily assigned to describe themselves to begin with. It was originally used by men to belittle and dehumanize women, as female dogs. And now it has become much more- describes not just women who are independent, not submissive but anyone who doesn’t conform to male desires and perceptions. Bitches screw you over, ‘life’s a bitch’. But you can win it over, you can overcome a bitch, by taming and controlling her- by making it ‘your bitch’. So it’s also possessive. Even an adjective, ‘bitching’. It’s never really been used in a positive manner.
So I don’t agree with this empowerment through reclaiming slurs in this particular regard. Even if it is empowering to call yourself a bitch, you would not find men willingly describing themselves as such. I think all it is, is a repackaging patriarchal tools, and selling it to women as empowerment and choice. But at the end of the day, it is still reinforces sexism, it reinforces dehumanization and subordination of women, and if anything, it desensitizes and normalizes us to it.
Edit: this is a good article on it, I don’t know any on the alternate opinion.
I cringe every time someone uses the word cunt, especially if it’s women saying it to other women. I am not a stranger to hearing such words being used by men, of course they’re not excused still. But when women say it to each other, I swear my heart sinks. Just something about it, I can’t explain.
Dad rejected a guy who has a masters in political science, cos of his degree. They seemed like simple people, at least based on the convo with his mom.
Seen at an endoscopy clinic
sext: شرم کرو
I remember when I first got my period. It was a summer afternoon. Everyone was home because of summer vacation. We were all watching tv. I felt something and went to check. When I saw blood, I knew what it was. I started crying and I called out for my mom, and told her that I got my period. She asked me why I was crying, but before I answered, she told me not to be afraid. She said I should be happy because it meant that I can have children- it meant that I was now a woman.
But I was crying because I didn’t want to be a woman.
Anonymous asked: I'd marry you just based on what I know of you from your blog, but I'm pretty sure you and your parents wouldn't have me.
I published this so late, it just appears now very out of place haha.
well that is sweet of you, cos I have to keep my views at bay irl except from may be 2 people, lest I appear too opinionated/ munmani karnaywali/ ghar na basnay wali/ unmarriagable etc etc.
Yah my parents won’t have anybody atm. It’ll probably change as I age.
I make a terrible friend but Z accepts that fully. I forgot to wish her on her birthday because I don’t go to my FB. Now in my defence, I did remember the month and was able to narrow down DOB down to the week. And that’s really the best I’ve ever done for persons I care about. And it’s a bit sad.
Me: *describes paya (dish) to a Bengali friend*
Friend: really people eat that?
Friend: see this is what happens when you don’t have rivers in your country
Anonymous asked: What do you think is an appropriate response to the Muslim women who always retort with "why do you need to be like men in order to feel validated, do you see men fighting to be more like us?" whenever other Muslim women complain about not having adequate access to certain rights, environments or positions? I've noticed that this kind of rhetoric is often strangely effective in stifling discussions.
ahhh god. Yah it’s stifling mainly because it’s such a baseless claim, it leaves you stunned unable to respond because there is a minefield of fallacies. I use to reply properly to such claims. But having dealt with numerous such individuals over the years, I have given up. I laugh externally, but I am really crying inside.
I wanted to have a productive discussions. But I have realized that such people really do not make such statements in an inquisitive manner, it is not to learn. It really comes from having a tunnel vision approach to matters, with no context of history or structures whatsoever. It’s the same with claims such as: feminism paints women to be victims and lacking agency/it paints women as weak/but men fight in warzzz women don’t/men have higher suicide rates/etc etc
I mean, I don’t really know why men would fight to be more like women anyway? What would they have to gain? But more importantly, feminism is not really about being equal to men. It’s about women’s liberation (though liberal feminism is about attaining same power as men, e.g., in military/business etc).
Does ASAP mean as soon as possible like, after I eat, shower, watch a show or does it mean ASAP like before my next breath?